Balanced Living | Dec. 18, 2014

Misery loves company (don’t be that company)

By Nate Whitten, Dec. 18, 2014.

DarkIpadIs it just me, or is everyone’s social media lighting up with negative messages from friends and loved ones? Do you find it is affecting your normally upbeat and positive attitude?

If so, don’t be alarmed. This too shall NEVER pass. It’s apparently human nature.

From Biblical times to the present, humanity seems to find great pleasure in pointing out the down side of life, regaling the rest of the world with messages of despair and fear.

According to a Dec. 4, 2014, BBC report, a Russian news source recently dropped its readership by two thirds when it ran only positive headlines and reports for one day (bbc.com/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-30318261). For a population screaming for positivity, why do we seem to only want to hear negativity?

This affects us not only as members of society, but also in our personal fitness goals. Many of my clients have reported that when they start meeting their own personal health standards that the people closest to them often begin to attempt to thwart their success with negating messages through words and actions.

So, as your embark on your New Year’s resolutions, use these tips to keep yourself positive and on the right track – even when those around you seem hell-bent on bringing you down.

ToDoNotes1. CHECK YOUR SOURCES

Is it true that when people lose significant amounts of weight that they eventually regain the weight and more? Yes, it’s true for some people, but not all people. Your source is likely someone who has a) never attempted to lose the weight they don’t like or b) someone who lost weight and gained it back, but that is their story, and not yours.

When you hit your goal, you can maintain your current state and even improve on it as you wish when you accept that everyone has an agenda behind their messages, and you don’t have to buy into it. Become your own source.

2. CHANGE YOUR VIEWERSHIP

If the people around you are delivering messages that are discouraging, perhaps you need to change the people around you.

This may be hard to fathom, but lesbians tell me that it’s difficult to meet women at the “boy bars.” It’s not impossible, but when you surround yourself people or attitudes that do not support what it is you’re actually looking for; you probably won’t find what you’re looking for. If you want to attract people who are positive and encouraging, then your circle of influence may need a boost so that your audience is no longer seeking out the newest member of the Bitter Queen Club, but a new, fresh viewership of hopeful and confident believers in what is good in you and your journey of growth.

3. BE A JERK

When you choose to hit the gym or skip the happy hour, to help support your upward momentum in fitness and health, someone may call you a jerk. They may begin to talk behind your back about how your new six-pack abs and perfect pecs make you think you’re better than everyone else. In reality, they are saying, “Your six-pack abs and perfect pecs make me think I’m not good enough.”

Again, their problem not yours. There are plenty of other jerks out there that will think you’re confident, secure, successful, motivated and sexy as hell because of all those positive attributes.

So, why does so much of our culture overlook the positive and perpetuate negative messages? Because, if you can be brought down to their sad level you’ll be able to keep them company in their misery. Discover the truth on your own, find a girlfriend where girls hang out, and be the biggest jerk in the entire town. You’ll reach your goal in no time!


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